Not Every Vista...

Not every vista taken in through life's windshield is a pleasant one.  Good or bad, the vistas are part of life's mosaic, so we must embrace them and soldier on as best we can.

This story is not my story, and yet at the same time, in a way it is.  This story is about my friend Dick (I can never think of him as Richard). 

Dick and I met when our daughters became friends in pre-school.  Over the years, our families have intertwined and he (and his family) have been at virtually all of our family birthdays and events as part of the family.  It has gotten to the point we don't really invite each other any more, we just publish the days that birthdays and such are going to be celebrated and we all show up at the right place and time.

A little over three years ago, Dick told me he had prostate cancer, and that it was caught late.  It didn't sound good.  Stage 3 or 4.  They operated, and did some treatments and a miracle occurred.  Dick's cancer went into remission.  About 6 months ago, it came back.  This time it will not be rebuked or defeated.  The decline in the last few weeks has been rapid and startling, even when you know what to expect.

Four weeks ago, I received a phone call at 5:45 AM from Dick's wife.  His health had taken a plunge overnight and he needed help to get to the car to go to the hospital.  It looked grim, but he bounced back, somewhat. 

With all the kids either in college or college graduates, they had been wanting to downsize for some time.  They had been preparing the farm for sale when his health started to go bad.  The property was to be listed the week of the phone call, but that got put off.

Dick has been fretting about his family (what true man wouldn't) and all that needs to be done so they can move and get on with things.  He is brave beyond all measure, something I doubt I have within myself. His friends have answered the call of course, and that has brought him some comfort.

When Dick bought the land to build the family home on, he first built a barn, and made the hay loft into an apartment for his family to live in while the house was built.  Over the years he has let people in need live there, sometimes for free, sometimes for a small rent.  A divorce, job loss, a family that had medical bills from an extensive illness, whatever the reason, Dick thought, why not?

The last people in there a few years ago tore the place up in the guise of (unauthorized) home improvement, and then moved out with the place unlivable (and downright dangerous).  This sort of discouraged Dick, and with three in college there was not really the spare money to repair it at that time.  Nevertheless, this was something Dick wanted done so two of us have been working on it for him.

Here is what two people, with 9 hours on a Sunday can do as far as putting in an inexpensive kitchen:

Of course, we spent a couple of hours with Dick throughout the day and brought him progress pictures as he was not strong enough to get out of bed Sunday.  The sharp eyed among you will notice that the sink is not installed yet, but we felt pretty good about our progress.  Dick was very happy to see the pictures of the apartment getting put back to right.

At the end of the day we sat for another half hour or so reminiscing about things we had done together over the years, from parties, to the dozens of camp trips with our boys for Scouting, and things of the like.  He had perfect recall, and unfortunately that included recall of a few pranks at his expense.  As Dick tired and drifted off to sleep, we took our leave.

Dick woke with a smile Monday and felt better.  He got out of bed and made it to his downstairs office.  Unfortunately his disease is robbing him of oxygen by killing his red blood cells so he tires easily.  He does not want to go back to his bedroom so we have fixed a bed for him by his office. By Monday night, Dick's clear mind from 24 hours ago had become hazy and confused, a place where it still is.  His brain cannot get enough oxygen now.  I don't think my friend has much longer on this earth.

We can't do anything about his medical state.  What we, his friends and extended family, can do is make sure he knows his family will be looked after as best as can be.  We have taken up his list and will finish it for him and he knows that and was able to express his thanks for Sunday.

You really only get a handful of extraordinary friends in a lifetime; It is quite painful to let one of them go.