Faith, determination, and a positive attitude.

What an emotionally challenging summer.  The score ended Cancer 2, Life 1.  We weld the memorial service for my friend Bob on what would have been his 52 birthday.  Bob and I met at age 9 and were inseparable for years. We last sat and had a good laugh together three days before he died.  I can't and won't go on about that here at this point.  The good news is that Ray is surviving his colon cancer and for that I am grateful.

The point of this note is that everybody has difficult things occur in their life.  It is part of the fabric. That fabric can contain worries about family, friends, economic woes, and the list goes on.

Have you noticed that some people march through these issues better than others?  My dad is one of those.

Here is a video of a man that went through some bad times and overcame it all.  The title of the blog is the key to Roy's perseverance, as you will hear him say.

This is a 1991 speech given by Master Sergent Roy Benavidez which starts with some older footage of him in the prior decade, about something he did more than a decade before that.  I found Roy's character and determination to be inspirational.  Hit the little button to make the video bigger, Roy's thoughts deserve that.

The Coda

Today was Dick's memorial service.  His life ended quietly a few days after my last post.  He wished to be at home and his wife cared for him in a personal act of love that chokes me up even as I type this.  It was very hard on her and she didn't blink once.

 I was fortunate enough to be able to visit twice a day or so those last few days to help reposition Dick so he would be comfortable and to share a few words between his increasingly frequent naps.  On the day he passed, we had one final time where he and I connected and he rose from his dream like state.  He was too weak to speak, but he could manage a small nod, and could squeeze my hand as I told him of my progress against the list of things I promised to take care of for him.  I am so grateful we had this time.

Today was a beautiful day here in the valley, and in accordance with his wishes, his friends and family gathered at his home to celebrate each other and remember Dick.

He was quite a character, so I will share a little of his personality.

First we all new that if you baked cookies, they were not safe around Dick.  He loved cookies and held the belief that the only reason you would have cookies is to share them, so he would help out any time he could.

Dick bought an airplane to cure his fear of heights (and then took flying lessons after he bought the plane).  He told me that he would have quit if he had not spent the money on the plane first, and that is why he did it the way he did.  He later became instrument flight rated (so you could fly in inclement weather), and true to Dick, he used the plane to get to areas that had good garage sales so he could get a great deal on second hand items. Did I mention that he was "value conscious" with his money?

Dick was generous with family and friends, but very frugal elsewhere.  He called several places and negotiated a "good deal" on his own arrangements for after his death.  We had to laugh at that.  Of course he did.

When he graduated college (with his MS in Engineering, the MBA came later) he took a 10,000 mile bike ride around the US, camping as he went, so he could see the country.

When in college, he learned that the airlines gave discounts to priests.  Since he attended a Catholic university in California, getting the Jesuit shirt and collar was not that hard.  He wore it to the airport, and sure enough the airline gave him a discount.  He never claimed to be a priest, and the person behind the counter asked him if he would like a discount on his ticket.  He answered, "Yes, I would like a discount." and that was it.  It worked out to one extra trip home from California that year.

There were several other stories of his quirky humor that came out, but the best part about him was that he was a great Father, man, and friend.  I am grateful for the 17 years we had.

My thoughts for any who read this are these:
If you have someone you care about and they are dying, don't pull away.  It will hurt just as bad or worse if you do pull away, but you may find some peace by slugging it out to the end with them.

My sister worked in oncology in a couple of different Hospitals and told me it was common for people to separate themselves from the dying at the end.  I didn't want to be "that guy".

My sister is way too kind and empathetic to work in such an environment, yet somehow she survived.  She didn't want people to be alone at the end so she "adopted" some folks (and paid the price) so they would not be lonely in their final days. She was my example.


There are many sources in print and online to help you understand the changes your sick friend's body will go through, as well as their needs mentally from family and friends to help them achieve peace before they go.

For me, knowing what physiological things would occur made it less fearful for me (even though I have seen it before, I needed to refresh my knowledge on the process).  This allowed me to be at ease with those changes in his body and concentrate on his comfort and his mind.

Today was a good day.

Not Every Vista...

Not every vista taken in through life's windshield is a pleasant one.  Good or bad, the vistas are part of life's mosaic, so we must embrace them and soldier on as best we can.

This story is not my story, and yet at the same time, in a way it is.  This story is about my friend Dick (I can never think of him as Richard). 

Dick and I met when our daughters became friends in pre-school.  Over the years, our families have intertwined and he (and his family) have been at virtually all of our family birthdays and events as part of the family.  It has gotten to the point we don't really invite each other any more, we just publish the days that birthdays and such are going to be celebrated and we all show up at the right place and time.

A little over three years ago, Dick told me he had prostate cancer, and that it was caught late.  It didn't sound good.  Stage 3 or 4.  They operated, and did some treatments and a miracle occurred.  Dick's cancer went into remission.  About 6 months ago, it came back.  This time it will not be rebuked or defeated.  The decline in the last few weeks has been rapid and startling, even when you know what to expect.

Four weeks ago, I received a phone call at 5:45 AM from Dick's wife.  His health had taken a plunge overnight and he needed help to get to the car to go to the hospital.  It looked grim, but he bounced back, somewhat. 

With all the kids either in college or college graduates, they had been wanting to downsize for some time.  They had been preparing the farm for sale when his health started to go bad.  The property was to be listed the week of the phone call, but that got put off.

Dick has been fretting about his family (what true man wouldn't) and all that needs to be done so they can move and get on with things.  He is brave beyond all measure, something I doubt I have within myself. His friends have answered the call of course, and that has brought him some comfort.

When Dick bought the land to build the family home on, he first built a barn, and made the hay loft into an apartment for his family to live in while the house was built.  Over the years he has let people in need live there, sometimes for free, sometimes for a small rent.  A divorce, job loss, a family that had medical bills from an extensive illness, whatever the reason, Dick thought, why not?

The last people in there a few years ago tore the place up in the guise of (unauthorized) home improvement, and then moved out with the place unlivable (and downright dangerous).  This sort of discouraged Dick, and with three in college there was not really the spare money to repair it at that time.  Nevertheless, this was something Dick wanted done so two of us have been working on it for him.

Here is what two people, with 9 hours on a Sunday can do as far as putting in an inexpensive kitchen:

Of course, we spent a couple of hours with Dick throughout the day and brought him progress pictures as he was not strong enough to get out of bed Sunday.  The sharp eyed among you will notice that the sink is not installed yet, but we felt pretty good about our progress.  Dick was very happy to see the pictures of the apartment getting put back to right.

At the end of the day we sat for another half hour or so reminiscing about things we had done together over the years, from parties, to the dozens of camp trips with our boys for Scouting, and things of the like.  He had perfect recall, and unfortunately that included recall of a few pranks at his expense.  As Dick tired and drifted off to sleep, we took our leave.

Dick woke with a smile Monday and felt better.  He got out of bed and made it to his downstairs office.  Unfortunately his disease is robbing him of oxygen by killing his red blood cells so he tires easily.  He does not want to go back to his bedroom so we have fixed a bed for him by his office. By Monday night, Dick's clear mind from 24 hours ago had become hazy and confused, a place where it still is.  His brain cannot get enough oxygen now.  I don't think my friend has much longer on this earth.

We can't do anything about his medical state.  What we, his friends and extended family, can do is make sure he knows his family will be looked after as best as can be.  We have taken up his list and will finish it for him and he knows that and was able to express his thanks for Sunday.

You really only get a handful of extraordinary friends in a lifetime; It is quite painful to let one of them go.

Getting the day started

Spring sprung its spell...

Well, yesterday we had snow up to the neck (of Robin) and today it leaves quicker than in came.

The morning started with a low fog down in the valley. Up here where the thin air affects a persons thinking (that is my excuse and I am sticking with it) it was sunny and warm.

 

The Cat thought being outside as the snow melted was just fine and began working on her spring tan.  I mentioned her desire to stay indoors yesterday and she didn't even look at me.  I am not sure if that is the cat part, or the female part... :-)

 

A short while later and all the fog and most of the snow down below is gone.  Across the valley there is still plenty of snow to be seen in the foothills.

 I took the last photo on my concrete deck, barefoot and wearing shorts.  Same conditions today, so I told the kids this is their spring break.  I am going to have to get the winter dirt off the deck because their feet will soon be black from walking out there to enjoy it all.  Here in the Pacific Northwest (PNW) the weather changes often so you learn to go with it when it smiles on you.  Maybe a run to the ocean to get some saltwater taffy if the weather holds up???

When in Gnome...

But I am not in Gnome!! I know someone that lives near there though... (and I expect to hear from her soon after this post. :-) )

Here are some scenes from the first days of spring here in the Pacific Northwest.

I went outside to get some shots of the "Spring Weather".

The cat insisted that there were more sensible ways to take it all in.

As a certified male^tm, I only partially listened to what she had to say... I did confine my picture taking efforts to the deck and front porch which I thought was in the spirit of her advice. 

Tanks for the Memories...

Walking through life you meet the most interesting people.  Some people seem to have the talent of being a Nexus for an eclectic collection of people you might otherwise not meet.  I am fortunate to have a couple such people like this in my life.  It was through one of these friends that I met John.  John is into reuse and recycling and has the talent for finding interesting things.

One such thing was an old bicycle long buried under brush at a place that was to be bulldozed.  This bike dates to the 50's by style and looks like it was forgotten in the brush about then too.  It is a rusty hulk.  John cut the rotted tires off of it and removed the scraps of seat material leaving nothing but rusty metal, junk if you will, yet prepared like he has it, the bicycle is a beautiful piece of art.

Good art has a story to tell, be it song, sculpture, or painting.  This bike is a time machine for the curious and you can't help but imagine the events around it since its making.  My heavy-equipment-pimp friend is working on John to get the bicycle so it can become the centerpiece in the new garden he is making for his wife.  This bike really was captivating to me and I didn't photograph it.  Huh?

I believe I have confessed my gearhead proclivities, so perhaps you will understand my divided attention.  You see, john also recently found something else in a pile of metal and bought it for scrap value.  It was sitting off to the side, maybe 40 feet from the bicycle and drew me in like a moth to a porch light.

Some may focus on the surplus beer keg on the back of it, or the horse drawn John Deere sickle mower with the blade powered by the turning of its' wheels ( it is cool), but it was the thing holding all that up that caught my eye. 

It is some long forgotten  model of a tank recovery vehicle.  Who knows if this is the way it appeared when GI's were gainfully employed to use it.

For better and for worse, they don't build them like they used to... I for one would prefer a little armor around me if I was going to go pull out a tank in hostile country, but on the other hand, after installing some new batteries, this old machine drove itself from its resting place and toward a new existence where it will be reclaimed by someone for some use, all yet to be determined.  Everything on this old rust bucket works.  Even the rust is only surface deep and not structurally damaging.  Bust out the scotch pad and the spray gun and viola!; this thing will be ready for the next few decades of... well whatever the creative can think to do with it.

I better go back and get a picture of the bike before it moves on... if it ends up in my friends garden that will be easy, but what a missed opportunity.

Neglected BLOG

My poor, poor BLOG has been neglected.  The holidays came and went with all kinds of family and fun, then the new year started with a bunch of new projects.  Being male, we can only think about one thing at a time (no, not THAT thing gutter-mind) so the BLOG has been neglected. This video instruction manual on men's brains will help.

So much water under the bridge, or more appropriately under the keel, since my last post... how to start again?  How about excuses?  Not really an excuse, but more a matter of exercising personal choice.  I could be blogging away here in the great Pacific Northwest, which I do enjoy, or I could be:

It is easy to harp about airline travel, add on fees, government taxes not included (well that is changed now), getting undressed in public and felt up by the TSA, overbooked planes with overflowing heads, and all that stuff, but you still have to marvel at the magic of it all.  I started the week this picture was taken with 6-8 inches of snow on my deck (insert laughter from Alaska friend here) and for the investment of about the same hours of a work day, and 10 to 15 cents per mile, you can teleport yourself to the tropics.

If you happen to be very fortunate as I am, on the other end of this trip will be good friends with open arms to welcome you into their homes, and insist you board their boats for things like sunset cruises in the tropical water.  When you look at it from the right angle, airline travel is still quite wonderful.

Yes, we all experienced better days of empty seats next to us, more perks in the cabin, and so on but the changes have been in response to market forces, and we are flying cheaper than ever.  The average Joe from the '60s is now the Jet-Setter of the 21st century and that has been made possible by full planes, and deletion of airline food that had frankly degraded to "no thank you" status on domestic flights years ago.  So be it.  It is not quite the transporter that Mr. Scott offered the crew of Enterprise, but it is a passable replacement for me and I am grateful for it.